I am a republican. Notice the small ‘r’? I am not a US
Republican (as they are the equivalent of a metastasizing tumour), but a ‘republican’,
i.e. one who would like to live in a republic. As I am British, that means I would
like Britain to be a republic. I read at the weekend that the Queen was unwell
and had to cancel a trip to my hometown. I hope the old lady bounces back. I think
she has performed a marvellous service linking different eras of the UK, not to
mention been an excellent queen. By ‘excellent queen’, I mean keeping out of
the limelight in terms of scandal or whatnot, and waving when she is told to. Not
drunkenly falling out of the Rolls-Royce or flashing her pants, that is a quite
a skill for a famous woman to have. The Queen is dignified, for someone that is
wheeled about and told what to do by her advisors.
However the rest of the Royal family are a bunch of
conniving, rude, selfish, cretinous, idiots that have ever sucked oxygen. They are
feted as actually being better than us commoners when they live in the biggest
bubble of unreality that exists with the possible exception of the
circumference of Donald Trump’s head. I would love the Royal Family to be
brought down to earth however I doubt they realise its existence. The finances
of the Royal Family are largely a mystery. There is no transparency or accountability.
Why don’t the National Audit Office audit them? Why is the Royal Family exempt
from Freedom of Information requests? Prince Charles lobbies extensively on a
number of subjects and issues yet we are not allowed to know what, how and
when, and to what effect. Up until 1998 (but still technically now as well)
advocating the replacement of the monarchy with a peaceful republic is a
criminal offence and could send me to prison for life.
Monarchist routinely claim, and this is the main reason espoused,
that the royal family is worth keeping because of “tourism”. Well, let me
debunk that particular argument. Tourists go to see buildings and castles
because they are interesting within a historic context and look pretty spiffy
as well. They do not go to see people. If they did, they would be sorely
disappointed about 98% of the time as tourists virtually never see the royal
family. According to visitbritain.com, the top tourist attraction in the UK,
Chester zoo is higher up the list for people to visit above Buckingham palace.
There is a compelling argument for a family of Orangutans to replace our
existing royalty if we are basing it on how popular the tourist attractions
are. “But it wouldn’t be the same without the royals living there.” People still
go to see the Taj Mahal, don’t they?
I just think we should get with the whole 21st
century program and become a Republic.
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